The Usenet Oracle oracle@cs.indiana.edu History Throughout the history of mankind, there have been many Oracles who have been consulted by many mortals, and some immortals. The great Hercules was told by the Delphic Oracle to serve Eurystheus, king of Mycenae, for twelve years to atone for the murder of his own children. It was the Oracle of Ammon who told King Cepheus to chain his daughter Andromeda to the rocks of Joppa to appease the terrible sea monster that was ravaging the coasts. That solution was never tested, though, as Perseus saved the girl in the nick of time. What is the Usenet Oracle? The Usenet Oracle is a fun way to write humorously and creatively. It is a mail program, which you can send questions, and will be answered by the Oracle (i.e. other people sending in questions). The "Subject:" of your message must be something like "Oracle Most Wise, please tell me ...". Actually, all it has to have is "tell me" or "tellme" somewhere in it. Capitalization doesn't matter. The body of the mail should contain only your question. You should receive a reply within a few days at most, probably much sooner. In the meantime, the Oracle may require that you answer a question for it as payment for its services. You will receive this question in the mail. You should respond with as most wise and witty an answer as you can. Mail the response to oracle@cs.indiana.edu, preserving the message's "Subject:" line. Usually, this can be done by simply replying to the mail through the normal means in your mail program, for example, using the "r" command in the standard Berkeley mail program. Actually, the subject just has to contain the word "answer" and the question number somewhere in it. The body of your mail response should contain only your answer -- you don't have to include the question itself. Please try to respond within at most a day's time. If you take longer, there is a chance that the question will be answered by someone else first. Mailing the Oracle with the word "help" in the "Subject:" line will get you the most recent version of this help file mailed back. If you mail the Oracle with "ask me" or "askme" somewhere in the subject, the Oracle will send you a question to answer, if there are any available. Etiquette The Usenet Oracle is intended primarily as a cooperative effort for creative humor. Since its main purpose is just to let folks have fun, there are intentionally few rules. However, an etiquette has developed among its participants. A series of identical questions submitted is not appreciated since the same person often ends up answering many of them. It is okay to resubmit a question after you have received a reply, especially if you believe that the answerer did not do it justice. If you find yourself unable to give due consideration to a question you are to answer, it may be better to not answer the question at all than to give it a trivial answer and disappoint the questioner. However, doing this too much can cause a buildup of unanswered questions and slow down the Oracle's response time for everyone. It's probably worthwhile to read some issues of the Usenet Oracularities (see below) to get an idea of the conventions and style of writing in Oracle questions and answers. Here are some general guidelines for those upon whom the Muse of the Oracle has descended and who are to write an answer as an incarnation of the Oracle: Creativity and humor are valued. Many people find the anonymity of the Oracle a license to express themselves creatively and uniquely -- often to surprising success. Participants in the Oracle like to feel they've gotten out of it as much as they've put in. Please keep this in mind when answering questions. Remember that brevity and clarity are key points of good writing. Overly long answers will reduce an Oracularity's chance of being published in the Usenet Oracularities (see below) since it must really be worth the extra length to have it selected to be read by tens of thousands of people. In general, avoid obscenity, slang, jargon, and obscure references. People of all different backgrounds located all over the world use the Oracle. Try to be sensitive to new participants or to people who seem to have asked serious questions. Don't flame the questioner for not asking a "good question". An off-the-wall or vague question calls for creativity, not rudeness, in the answer -- consider it a challenge. Anonymity The Oracle is a confidential and anonymous service. The anonymity of the participants is preserved within all Oracle mailings and Oracularities postings. However, if you append a signature file to your mail, this will appear in your question or answer. Signature files are edited out from Oracularities postings. If you do not wish to remain anonymous, you may include a phrase in your answer like "incarnated as " The Usenet Oracularities The Oracle's priesthood receives a duplicate copy of all answered questions, or Oracularities as they're called. This is so that the best ones can be selected and posted to rec.humor.oracle and a mail distribution list as the Usenet Oracularities -- the chronicle of the mythos of the Usenet Oracle. Your use of this program implies your approval of this usage. Rec.humor.oracle is a moderated newsgroup. If your news system is properly configured, any postings you make to rec.humor.oracle will be forwarded directly to the Oracle and so you can ask questions of the Oracle by posting to the newsgroup. Rec.humor.oracle.d is unmoderated and anyone may post to it. It is a public forum for discussion and questions about the Oracle. If your system doesn't carry these newsgroups, encourage your news administrator to do so! Readers of the Oracularities may mail in ratings of each published Oracularity, the results of which are returned to the authors of the Oracularities and published in a later posting. They are also used to select occasional "best of the best" postings to rec.humor.oracle. Instructions on how to mail in your ratings are given at the top of each issue. If you don't have access to rec.humor.oracle and would like to receive the Oracularities via mail, send mail to oracle-request@cs.indiana.edu. Back postings and ratings are available via anonymous ftp on cs.indiana.edu (129.79.254.191) in the directory pub/oracle, or via mail -- send the word "help" in the body of a mail to mailserv@cs.indiana.edu for more details. (This information was copied from a information file by Steve Kinzler.) Send your Oracularities subscription requests to oracle-request@iuvax.cs.indiana.edu. Include the word "subscribe" (or "unsubscribe") in the "Subject:" line.